Bollox Britain

London's Westminster council is seeking to put people out of work because it claims that its streets are being clogged up by mopeds delivering for Uber Eats and Deliveroo.

The new policy by Westminster City Council will require restaurants that rely on apps for the bulk of their deliveries to apply for planning permission, with view to then refusing that planning permission.

Businesses have been warned that they could face formal enforcement action if they flout new rules that are set to come into force in spring 2018. Daniel Astaire, cabinet member for planning and public realm, spouted:

It is a popular, much-needed service but we can't allow the city to be swarmed with delivery drivers.

Westminster has already taken action against a Nando's branch in Westbourne Grove after receiving more than 25 complaints from residents, who said they were repeatedly disturbed by large groups of moped delivery drivers. Council bosses ordered the popular chicken restaurant to stop offering deliveries in a move that Westminster City Council said set a new precedent.

Plan to install wifi in Brighton council care homes have been ditched over selfish worries of being held responsible for downloading copyrighted material.

Elderly residents in 25 care units were to get internet access as part of a drive to encourage them to go online. But the proposed scheme was scrapped after the disgraceful housing boss Anne Meadows said there were concerns old people might access inappropriate material. She whined:

There are particular challenges on security and the council's liability when providing access in a communal setting. Not least in people accessing illegal or inappropriate material.

Mike Bojczuk, a volunteer spearheading the wifi plan, said the council was insisting on a far higher level of security than was necessary.

Health professionals in England are to be told to ask patients aged 16 or over about their sexual orientation, under new NHS guidelines.

NHS England said no-one would be forced to answer the question, but it seems that they will continue nag people at each visit until they answer the question. The guidance applies to doctors and nurses, as well as local councils responsible for adult social care.

An NHS spokeswoman said the information would help NHS bodies comply with equality legislation by consistently collecting personal details of patients such as race, sex and sexual orientation. NHS England recommends health professionals - such as GPs and nurses - ask about a person's sexual orientation at every face to face contact with the patient, where no record of this data already exists.

It is expected that sexual orientation monitoring will be in place across England by April 2019. Under the guidance, health professionals are to ask patients: Which of the following options best describes how you think of yourself?. The options are:

• heterosexual or straight
• gay or lesbian
• bisexual
• other sexual orientation
• not sure
• not stated
• not known.

Of course the NHS don't mention some of the dangers of reporting sexuality to NHS staff or by having sexuality recorded in a widely used database. There is still a certain community pressure in religious circles that being outed as gay is a very dangerous proposition indeed. And if muslim terrorists get hold of lists of gay people it could be a matter of life and death. Perhaps in the future some right wing fascist party could get into power. They could print off yellow stars for people directly from the database.

More than 200 people took to the streets of Brighton to highlight oppressive double standards which dictate that men may show their chests in public whilst women may not.

But when one participant took the photos to be developed at Boots in Tunbridge Wells, she says she was left feeling embarrassed after staff told her that she could not have nude photos developed in store. The protester was told that 12 of her photos from the event couldn't be printed - despite them being taken at a public march which was attended by parents and children.

A spokesperson for Boots noted that there is no company-wide policy on nudity, and that the shop assistant would not have been breaking any company rules to personally take the decision to ban nudity.

Despite the missing prints, the retailer charged her full price for developing the images and the woman in question has since issued a formal complaint to Boots.

The UK has seen a rising tide of lifestyle regulations in recent years. Its smoking ban, introduced in 2007, allows fewer exemptions than that of almost any other country and was extended to cars carrying passengers under the age of 18 in 2015 (2016 in Scotland). In 2008, Britain became the first EU country to mandate graphic warnings on cigarettes and cigarette vending machines were banned in 2011. A full retail display ban followed in 2015. In May 2016, the UK and France became the first European countries to ban branding on tobacco products ('plain packaging') in May 2016.

The UK has some particularly punitive sin taxes. It has the highest taxes on cigarettes and wine in the EU and the second highest taxes on beer. There are relatively few legal limits on where alcohol can be advertised but there are strict guidelines on content. Off trade alcohol discount deals such as buy-one-get-one-free are banned in Scotland.

Anti-smoking policies are now being rolled out to food and soft drinks. A ban on 'junk food' advertising to children was extended to digital media in December 2016 and a UK-wide tax on sugary drinks is expected to be implemented in 2018. There is a ban on sugary drinks in Scottish hospitals and both the Scottish and Welsh governments support minimum pricing for alcohol. Britain's Nanny State Index score for food and soft drinks arguably makes the country seem more liberal than it is because it does not include the food reformulation scheme which has led to chocolate bars shrinking and food products becoming less tasty as Public Health England pushes food manufacturers towards reducing sugar, salt and fat content. Although this scheme is technically voluntary, it is backed up with the threat of legislation.