Nutter News

 2002

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5th December   Fashionable Nutters

From Ananova

A US broadcasting watchdog says it will consider tougher indecency standards after several complaints about a Victoria's Secret lingerie show aired on prime time TV in America.

Nutters groups labelled it a "soft-porn infomercial" after it featured   scantily clad models, including Heidi Klum, Tyra Banks and Gisele Bundchen.

The Federal Communications Commission says advance criticism from Concerned  Nutters for America and the Parents Television Council was not enough to ban it. But after receiving hundreds of complaints after it was aired the agency says
it may revise the definition of indecency. FCC commissioner Michael Copps says some programmes that are "palpably and
demonstrably indecent" are still being shown.

The CBS network, which broadcast the show, said: We are confident that the Victoria's Secret special was completely within acceptable boundaries for broadcast television.

 

23rd November   Nigerian Nutters

I can imagine the traditional justice statue over the Nigerian High Court. On one hand the scales have been replaced by a bag of stones and on the other...well its gone...cut off at the wrist. No doubt the plaque below boasts about the proud tradition of tolerance and justice. Of course in reality, the more nutters preach about tolerance, the more they prove the opposite. Probably true tolerance goes hand in hand with universal acceptance that then needs few words.

From BBC News

At least 100 people are now known to have died in riots in the northern Nigerian city of Kaduna over the Miss World beauty contest, Red Cross officials say. A heavy security presence has been imposed after protests started by Muslim youths which also left hundreds injured.

They began after a newspaper suggested that the Prophet Mohammed would have probably chosen to marry one of the Miss World contestants if he had witnessed the beauty pageant - which Nigeria is hosting.

Kaduna is one of Nigeria's most volatile cities; more than 2,000 people died there in clashes between Christians and Muslims two years ago. Further sporadic clashes were reported on Friday despite the deployment of the hundreds of police and soldiers and the imposition of a curfew.

On Thursday, thousands of Muslim youths rampaged through the suburbs of the city, putting up barricades of burning tyres, setting fire to buildings, and attacking churches. Muslim groups complain that the contest is immoral and degrading to women, and are also angry that preliminary events began during the holy month of Ramadan.

Miss World events are only taking place in the southern, largely Christian, part of the country. A spokesman for the organisers told the BBC the final would go ahead as planned in the capital, Abuja, on 7 December.

The trouble in Kaduna escalated on Thursday after an attack the previous day by hundreds of people chanting "Allahu Akbar" (God is great) on the office of ThisDay newspaper, which printed the offending article.

Amid fears that the unrest could spread, security forces were expected to be on heightened alert for during Friday prayers in Kano, the north's biggest city, Reuters news agency said.

The Nigerian government has appealed for calm and has assured Muslims that those responsible for the article, which appeared in ThisDay newspaper, would be brought to book, for exceeding "the bounds of responsible journalism." ThisDay has retracted the offending article and has published apologies.

 

6th September   Welsh Nutters

From BBC News

Plans to open a sex shop in a busy area of Wrexham have been criticised by local shopkeepers and residents. Campaigners against the proposals claim the store would "lower the tone" of the street which is home to a number of specialist boutiques.

Hundreds of people have signed a petition against the proposal which will be handed into the local authority. The application for the shop in Charles Street has been made to Wrexham council and the consultation process has begun.

One of the main reasons the plans have come in for criticism is because there is already an adult shop in a nearby street. (So how does this prove that the shop is somehow harmful as required by law to ban it)

A consultation process had begun and people have been invited to write in with objections. (Surely this already is being biased against the application...Surely all interested parties should by invited to write in their views. I wonder if this bias originates from the council or the BBC)

 

2nd September   Nutters vs Control Freaks

From The Register

A couple of nutters in Denver are suing for the right to distribute rental flicks with all the good parts removed. Apparently, one of the plaintiffs has some gimmick involving a modified remote control whereby viewers can select between the original and bowdlerized editions, according to a Reuters report.

Clean Flicks of Colorado and Robert Huntsman, who has a patent pending for a new way to edit movies, filed the lawsuit in federal court, seeking a judgment that would declare it constitutional to provide edited movies to the public for private home viewing, the wire service says.

The two plaintiffs are appealing to the First Amendment, claiming that their sanitized offerings are protected speech. The idea is to get out in front of an anticipated injunction which the pair believes the Directors Guild of America was about to request.

Free speech is certainly a novel approach to circumventing Hollywood's savage copyright-infringement regime. Perhaps a more sensible approach would be to seek some novel licensing scheme with the copyright owners from which both sides might benefit. I see no reason why "9 1/2 Weeks" shouldn't be available in a 9 1/2-minute version for those who wish for some reason to watch it with their young children. I don't see much point to it; but then, the world is full of things I see little or no point to, so that's hardly a basis for evaluation.

However, by filing suit against the directors rather than negotiating with the studios, it seems the plaintiffs have signalled their intention to enact a mere publicity stunt, perhaps in hopes that some organized grassroots prude movement will come to their rescue and make a national issue of their little money-making scheme.

Defendants include some of Hollywood's most pampered prima donnas and heaviest political hitters: Robert Altman, Curtis Hanson, Norman Jewison, John Landis, Sydney Pollack, Robert Redford, Martin Scorsese, Steven Soderbergh and Steven Spielberg.

 

20th May

  Cover Up

From the Seattle Times

Terengganu (including the Perhentian Islands), a conservative Malaysian state with an Islamic government is trying to impose nutter rules on tourists.

Terengganu's state government came under the control of the fundamentalist Pan-Malaysia Islamic Party in 1999. The party has since tried, with varying degrees of success, to restrict alcohol and separate the sexes, and is now turning its attention to tourists.

State tourism officials are considering regulations that would ban bikinis and require new resorts to build separate swimming pools for men and women.

But back in the capital, Kuala Lumpur, Tourism Minister Abdul Kadir Sheikh, a Muslim, compares Terengganu's officials to the Taliban and says some Europeans have canceled visits because of the bikini battle. The tourism industry fears a bikini ban would drive away many of the 1.4 million tourists who visited the state last year.

The Terengganu government is already having difficulty making its edicts stick. A rule segregating men and woman in supermarket checkout lines is widely ignored, and a bikini ban might go the same way. The state's tourism minister, Wan Hassan Mohamad Ramli thinks that foreigners should respect Islam and that segregated pools would make resorts more appealing to Muslims. One solution, he said, would be to allow bikinis in some places but not others. Another would be a "code of ethics" telling tourists what to wear on the beach.

 

17th May   4th NutterMarch

As this was hardly noticed by the mainstream press we will have to rely on a report from the nutters themselves.From Media March.

Some 500 protestors, young and old, marched under a long column of banners along Whitehall to Trafalgar Square last Saturday 11 May. There an even larger audience at the mediamarch Rally heard guest speakers sounding stern warnings against the ever increasing content of explicit violence, sex and bad language in TV, films, videos, magazines, etc.

Innumerable marchers in this, their 4th mediamarch, were holding banner boards aloft, displaying terse slogans impressing on the Government their serious concern about the harmful effects of so much of the media on our society, and especially on children. Rally speeches included convincing evidence which effectually supported the demands of mediamarch for radical government action.

On only the previous day, the Broadcasting Standards Council had published the damning results of their official enquiry into the ever-rising level of violence portrayed in TV soaps - which have been provoking masses of public complaints. The rally crowds were also told of the recently-published US research covering an 18 year study, which gives undeniable evidence of the linkage between TV viewing among adolescents and the extent of subsequent aggressive behaviour. Therefore, said one speaker, the 'silent majority' must surely now take up their phones and/or their pens and determine to help others to bombard the broadcasters with their own complaints about specific programmes which serve to normalise even glamourise, sexual depravity as well as lawlessness and brutishness.

Supporters gave a resounding cheer on being told that over 100,000 signatures have already been collected by them on mediamarch's nationwide Petition, which calls for Britain's obscenity laws and related media regulations to be radically strengthened. The Petition campaign will therefore be continued to gather ever more signatures throughout 2002, as more and more people become motivated to stand up and be counted.

Speakers at the rally included:

  • John Milton Whatmore, Chairman of mediawatch-uk (formerly National Viewers' and Listeners' Association)
  • Dr M Katme from the Muslim Council of Britain
  • Dennis Wrigley, from maranatha Christian community in Manchester
  • Cindy Kent from Premier Radio

In closing, Pippa Smith and Miranda Suit, both being mothers of teenagers and founders of mediamarch, vowed to continue this grassroots movement and thereby reflect the heartfelt cry of millions of parents and ordinary citizens in the UK, as they struggle to counter the undermining influence of the media.

The Radio Authority has recently banned mediamarch's intended adverts on radio because our call for UK obscenity laws to be strengthened is too political. Please help us to achieve the publicity we ought to have, by right, in a democratic society! (My pleasure to oblige as long as the rest of us are allowed the right to watch what we want on TV)

 

23rd April   Mad and Morally Suspect Nutters

Based on an article in the Sunday Times

A Catholic group has launched a campaign to challenge the portrayal of churchgoers in television drama programmes as mad and morally suspect. Of course this campaign provides more than adequate prrof that churchgoers are indded mad and morally suspect.

The Pro-Life Alliance, an organisation set-up by the late Cardinal Thomas Winning, is angry that religious soap characters, such as EastEnders' Dot Cotton and Mrs Mack from High Road, are shown as objects of fun and ridicule.

They are asking Catholics to monitor the content of television programmes they watch and to lodge complaints where they see religious characters depicted in a negative way.

Sister Roseann Reddy, who runs the Glasgow-based group which offers financial help and emotional support to women considering an abortion, said few people could take characters such as Dot Cotton or Mrs Mack seriously because they were 'over the top' and 'mad'.

In other soaps, such as Brookside, religious characters were only introduced into shocking storylines. She cited the examples of the character Margaret Clemence, a nanny, who ran off with Father Derek O'Farrell, a Catholic priest. Reddy wrote to Brookside scriptwriters to complain. In another plot, a resident of the close, Simon, set up a shady religious cult which recruited regular characters Katie Rogers and Terry Sullivan. Reddy said:

Religion is not a minority thing in this country, yet in any of the soap operas, Christians are mad. Any religious people in them are bonkers. They are complete wimps or completely mad. It concerns me because it is really very inaccurate. It is about balance. Most Catholics do not run off with their priest.

 

14th April   Bedding Borough

From the Scotsman

Two firms are investing hundreds of thousands of pounds to establish "upmarket" sex industry outlets in the Edinburgh. A local firm unveiled plans to open a plush massage parlour in the New Town within weeks, while US-based lap dancing chain Spearmint Rhino recently confirmed plans for a "sex multiplex" in the city by the end of the year.

The owners of Club 7 Leisure today also revealed plans for their A-listed premises in York Place. Located next to a casino, each of the facility's 12 bedrooms will be equipped with four-poster beds, trouser presses, refrigerators, stereo systems, DVD players and satellite television. The company also intends to launch a limousine service to ferry punters from the airport for intimate encounters with so-called "surrogate girlfriends" who will earn up to 1000 a week.

A spokesman for Club 7 Leisure said: We want to bring the sex industry to the level of a five-star hotel. It's no longer seedy back streets and a lot of the cloak and dagger stuff has disappeared . We're providing services for people who are upfront about their needs - the new millennium man who isn't afraid to admit he needs a massage. (Whereas the new millennium company is surely afraid to admit what services they are really enabling!)

Both Club 7 and Spearmint Rhino say they will target a high-class clientele of "discerning" professionals in elegant surroundings. Spearmint Rhino today confirmed that negotiations are under way for three potential sites in Edinburgh and remain confident it will have launched a club by the winter. The firm, which has been nicknamed the "McDonald's of table-dancing" over plans to open clubs in every major city in the UK by 2007, offers full-contact "friction" dancing sessions in private rooms.

Stephanie Harvey, of the Broughton Village Association - which unsuccessfully opposed plans for a gay sauna in a nearby residential location, today called for councillors to consider limiting the number of sex spas in the city. She said: Brothels are a necessary evil but we don't want to become like Amsterdam. I'm worried that the council doesn't seem to have any limits to how many of these establishments there are in the city. My concern is that there may be too many of them operating. (ie one!)

Catherine Harper, of Scottish Women Against Pornography, warned that the city council was now renowned as a "soft touch" by sex club owners. She said:
You can call it anything you like, but offering sexual services for money is prostitution. I think the council has to be held to account. They're giving licences to more and more premises and sexualising whole areas. They're turning Edinburgh into a sex-tourism capital.

 

26th March   Ghost Censors

A teachers' prayer group is involved in an effort to get dozens of books dealing with ghosts, cults and witchcraft reviewed for possible removal from the library at Russell County High School.

God revealed to the group that the presence of the books was one reason his "manifested presence" hadn't yet come to the school to change the hearts and minds of students, according to a letter from one member of the group. He can not come into a place that is corrupted, the letter said, adding: we must not allow for these books to continue polluting the minds of our teen-agers. ...

The letter identified a list of more than 50 book titles that "may need to be removed," including World's Most Famous Ghosts by Daniel Cohen, The Witchcraft of Salem Village by Shirley Jackson and the Harry Potter books by J.K. Rowling.

 

24th March   Fundamental Questions

Thanks to Ian

If memory serves this is actually a scene from the forthcoming episode of The West Wing when Martin Sheen, rips into a right wing radio talk show hostess. It is a brilliant scene to watch as it is done as such a put down. The name of the episode escapes me at the moment but it is definitely in the Season 2 episodes that started on C4 recently.

Spotted in a US magazine

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank yon for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your radio show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however regarding some of the specific Bible laws and how to follow them.

  • When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev.l:9). The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
  • I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? She's 18 and starting University. Will the slave buyer continue to pay for her education?
  • I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15: 19- 24). The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
  • Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify?
  • I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should this be a neighbourhood improvement project?
  • A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a far lesser abomination than homosexuality. l don't agree. Can you settle this?
  • Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wriggle room here? Would contact lenses help ?
  • Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.l9:27. How should they die?
  • I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football If I wear gloves?
  • My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread. He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just bum them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their In-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

 

12th March   ABC of Nutters

From Ananova

TV viewers have been mystified after a US broadcaster used hi-tech tools to add a bra to a Bond Girl's back in Diamonds Are Forever.Television network ABC used video technology to "draw" a black bra on to the back of character Plenty O'Toole as she embraced James Bond in the 1971 classic.

The broadcaster also changed the colour of her underwear from tan to black, in case viewers thought she was actually naked as the Bond girl, played by Lana Wood, embraced the spy, played by Sean Connery.

TNew York Daily News television critic described the cover-up as "bizarre" and said: When Diamonds Are Forever was released almost a third of a century ago, that scene and other like it earned the movie a mild PG rating. Yet on ABC in the 21st century, that wasn't mild enough.

A spokeswoman for the nutters told the New York Daily News: We've done it all the time, particularly with Bond movies. It's certainly not the first time.

 

8th March   NSYNC Engayification

From Yahoo news

Critics have long complained that boy bands like *NSYNC and The Backstreet Boys are lowering the musical standards of America's youth, but now Rev. Harvey Polstom of Reno Nevada claims these flouncy pop performers are inadvertently making millions of once-virile young men gayer than Liberace. The way they prance around on stage, singing with their girly voices and grabbing their nether regions. It sets off a hormonal chain reaction in these poor boys that is leading them down the path of homosexuality. (Lord knows what effect it has on their nutter parents)

Polstom first noticed the phenomenon in his own 11-year-old son, whose name he requested not be published. The reverend says at first he was relieved that his son had chosen the boy bands yearning romantic tunes over "that dangerous gangsta rap." But that changed when he discovered that the music had his son yearning for fellow males. I found a Playgirl and a poster of a half-naked Justin Timberlake under his bed, recalls Polstom, his lower lip trembling.

 

22nd February   Principled Nutters

From www.yahoo.com

Back in 1996, when residents of Blountsville, Ala., requested Internet service from the town's phone company, Blountsville Telephone Company CEO Rick Kiser hesitated. It wasn't about business. It was about religion and morality.

''I have spiritual and non-sectarian feelings that pornography is not good for people,'' says Kiser. ''I feel like it's destructive for families.'' The Net provides access to it.

But being the only way the town's 1,800 people could get to the Net without paying long-distance charges to access another provider, Kiser decided to offer a service without porn. He had no idea how tough that would be.

There's nothing illegal about delivering filtered Net access; many providers offer the option. But Kiser didn't want to give users the choice. He felt it was a matter of principle not to profit from pornography.

It turns out, unknown to him, town residents didn't need a choice. The filters weren't working. Kiser learned that last year, after a mother complained that her son was getting to hard-core sites. It took till January to strengthen the filters; Kiser was pleased.

But townsfolk like Chuck Harmon, a programmer who spends more than 100 hours a month online, were livid when they logged on and found they could hardly get anywhere -- including eBay and other non-porn sites: ''Fifty-five percent to 65% of the Internet is totally gone,'' Harmon says. ''They filter for everything that might be remotely objectionable to a 90-year-old lady. It smacks of censorship.''

Blountsville.net was flooded with angry calls. Many of the 900 customers, it turns out, wanted unfettered access. Kiser responded -- not by pulling off the filters but by pulling the plug. He decided that if he couldn't offer quality service without pornography, he wouldn't offer it at all. So next month, BTC is getting out of the Net access business entirely.

BTC customers now have another choice -- a new local provider that is busy taking calls from people who want Net access. It'll be unfiltered, says Pete Hays of Urisp.net: ''I talked to some ministers,'' he says. ''One of them told me, 'Pete, God doesn't filter or censor man. You can't do what God doesn't do.' ''

For his part, Kiser says he has heard from some customers as well. They're sorry to see the filters go.

 

17th February   Tyny Minds in Gateshead

Thanks to Martin

Just dropping you a mail to inform you of the proposed opening of a sex super store in Gateshead Tyne & Wear. The store would belong to the Pulse & Cocktails chain and would be situated in at the Blaydon Park Business Park, Gateshead if all goes to plan.

Needless to say shameful local labour councillors and the shameful Christian Institute are up in arms over the suggestion, citing all the usual concerns; eg, the site would be inappropriate as Newcastle And Gateshead are bidding to be the next European city of culture and they feel this would lessen their chances. The Christian Institute are planning protest marches against the plans. Also the thought of opening a sex superstore near a Sure Start scheme for young families is causing concern among the local populace and councillors.

The names of the councillors involved are : Sally Young, Joanne Kingsland and Geraldine Ormonde. All of this came from tonight's, Thursday 8th Feb, edition of the Newcastle Evening Chronicle.

Also the Sven Adult Bookshop is going to re-apply for their licence on Monday, this looks like being another struggle for the same reasons as above.

 

16th January   Laughing Our Tits Off

A couple of days ago I received the following email:

Sad, sad people

Dear me, I have just returned home from work after  myself and work colleagues have spent the entire afternoon reading you website...well actually, we were laughing our tits off. How is that some folk can spend so much time and effort arguing about whether or not they can watch an animal shit, legally!!!!!!!!

Fuckin unreal, just goes to prove there are some proper saddos out there with very little to do but moan at the authorities and literally argue about shit!!!

Get a lass, get laid (for real, not just video) and most of all, get a job/hobby to cool you guys down, you'll be doing your selves a mischief with all this misplaced anger, it's really very silly to us norm's!

Jay Hopps (jhoppsychord@hotmail.com)

Today I found out what sort of "norms" we are talking about. Jay Hopps is in fact the press officer of the Internet Vigilante Nutters.   I almost laughed my tits off!

Perhaps it is they who should get a job, their current employer surely won't be impressed by losing so many hours of productivity.

 

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